Ep. 2 – Intern 27

Cowboy Penguin sits behind a desk made entirely of recycled spaceship parts and questionable design choices. A giant crack runs across one corner, taped over with a sticker that says “Professional.”

He stares at the young man standing before him. The guy looks nervous, underdressed, and slightly confused to be in an office that smells like gunpowder and barbecue sauce.

“So,” Cowboy Penguin says, squinting one eye. “You wanna be a sidekick.”

The guy opens his mouth to answer.

“Wait,” Cowboy Penguin interrupts, holding up a wing. “Lemme guess. You’re some bright-eyed rookie trying to make a name for yourself. Some hopeful dreamer lookin’ to tag along with a legend.”

The guy blinks. “Uh, actually I’m just here because—”

“—Or maybe my name precedes me.” Cowboy Penguin leans back, hands behind his head. “Can’t blame you. Fame’s a curse. But being a sidekick?” He leans forward again, deadly serious. “That’s the hardest job in the galaxy. No perks, no respect, and you might die horribly at any moment.”

The applicant raises a finger. “I’m not sure I even—”

“Let me explain. Intern 27.”

“...Intern 27?”

“Yeah, that’s you now. Get used to it.”

Cowboy Penguin swivels his chair to face a cat poster taped to the wall. It features a tabby clinging to a tree branch with the words Hang In There. He wipes away a single tear.

“It all started five years ago, back when I was younger, handsomer, and only mildly unhinged.”

Five years ago, on the chaotic jungle world of Spinden, Cowboy Penguin and Intern 1 are sprinting full-speed through a swamp while being chased by an angry mob of green, one-eyed aliens with poorly translated tattoos.

Until next time...